Grief and Loss for the Very Young

Losing a loved one is never easy, and talking about death with children can often feel exceptionally difficult. I recall it was particularly difficult for me when my athletic, happy, smart and funny father died within months of being diagnosed with an aggressive glioblastoma. Young children are innately curious, often full of questions about what happened and why; I had many questions of my own too. Shared time reading together can present great opportunities to talk about memories and relationships, family values and beliefs. It’s also easier for kids to empathize with different animals or other people mourning to process their own situation. 

Thankfully, there are many beautiful books to help navigate complicated emotions and conversations, including:

The Circles in the Sky is my new favorite, gentle story about loss and remembrance. Fox discovers a small lifeless bird that he believes has been forgotten in the woods and tries to both scare and feed it until a thoughtful Moth explains to him that Bird is dead but will be loved and remembered always.  

A remarkably honeset and humorous book, Bird Is Dead, first published in the Netherlands in Dutch and now available in America in English. It’s full of matter-of-fact conversation between a group of colorful, collage-patterned birds responding to the loss of their friend. At first, they are disbelieving, then they are upset and sad. Eventually, they talk each other through their feelings about bird and hold a burial ceremony for bird, who will forever be with them in their minds.  

I also like Death Is Stupid, a lovely mixed-media collage storybook which explores ways to cope with loss. A small boy has people say things to him that don’t make sense or provide any comfort at the open casket ceremony for his Gramma. He learns about personal beliefs as well as lies about death. Furthermore, he finds the courage to accept what cannot be changed, making positive new connections to his Gramma with his dad. 

While death is a natural and important fact of life, it's okay to feel sad, scared or even overwhelmed by it. Talk with family, friends or even a professional mental health counselor for extra support when needed.

Finally, and for even more reading recommendations, please check out this annotated booklist featuring fiction and non-fiction about loss for both young and older children.